Holiday Check-ins
Holidays provide a unique opportunity to check-in on our elders
Seven Things to Check
- Changes in Housekeeping. Are the bathrooms and kitchen clean? Is basic housekeeping being performed adequately?
- Odors. Are you smelling things you shouldn’t be able to smell? Furniture and bedding can be ruined without proper protection. Food should not be moulding in the refrigerator.
- Piles of mail. Is mail stuck randomly in different places? Do you see important mail that hasn’t been opened? Checks not deposited?
- Late fees and creditor calls. Scan a statement or two and see if bills are being paid on-time. If the phone is ringing a lot, it could be creditors calling, or fraudsters that have had luck before.
- Sudden changes in behavior. Is your loved one reluctant to see you or speak with you, when it was ok in the past? Do they seem excessively anxious? These can be signs of mental/physical/financial abuse.
7. Driving. If your loved one is still driving, check their vehicle for dings and fender-bender signs. Maybe ride with them to see how safe they are.
Suggestions for services
If you are seeing a number of red flags during your check-in, you don’t have to take care of everything yourself. Caregiver burnout is a real thing. Focus on spending quality time by phone, video, or visiting. You may have to be the quarterback, but you don’t have to always carry the ball. Enlist other family members, neighbors and friends if you can.
Otherwise, know that there are services for just about everything needed. Those of us in the senior care industry are well-connected to resources that might help you. Some of these include:
- Homecare aid, including nursing care
- Medication monitoring
- Various devices geared toward safety
- Independent, Assisted Living, Memory Care and Nursing types of residential care and companies that help find the right community fit
- Transportation
- House maintenance & improvement services including safety modifications
- Fraud remediation
- Personal finance care, Power of Attorney, notary, trustee, and executor services
- Rehabilitation, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy
- CPAs, attorneys, and financial advisors
If you can’t be the quarterback, hiring both a Daily Money Manager (AADMM.com) for the financial side and a Life Care Manager (AgingLifeCare.org) for the physical/medical needs of your loved one, ensures care with compassion.
Awareness of costs
Services related to medical necessity are typically covered by Medicare or Medicaid. Long-term care services, such as Assisted Living, are not covered by Medicare.
Most other services are fee-based. Some may be available for free, or on a sliding scale depending on the income of your loved one.
What we call ‘The Gray Zone’ can be a very expensive time of life. It can also be extremely costly to adult children, who give up time, income, and family relationships to provide care. Be informed and make the best decisions you can. By doing a holiday check-in, you could be saving a life.